Changed by His Grace

We all have a story to tell. This is my story. It is the story of how the Lord can take an ordinary rather shy and inhibited quiet life and use that life for His purpose; of how Jesus has taught me to live, to hope and to believe; of how he has been my strength and my courage during times of stress and sorrow. He has taken my life and changed me both inwardly and outwardly. He has emptied me out, and filled me up with love, peace and joy. He has turned me around and changed my path, picked me up and dusted me off. He has never taken away anything and left me with less. He is faithful and just, He is always the same, always forgiving , never forsaking. He has disciplined me, wanting only the best for me. Even when I don’t understand what is happening or why, I can trust Him to always bring good to my life. Jesus doesn’t make mistakes. Therefore I am happy to yield to His sovereignty. He has taught me that His ways are high above my ways. And I have learned to wait for His perfect timing in matters that once caused me turmoil wanting a speedy solution. It is a great and wonderful thing to know that the Lord of the universe is in charge of my life. It is comforting to know that He is in control to open doors and to close doors in order to keep me set in the direction He has given me. When I become harried and confused He reminds me that I am focusing too much on other things and have taken my eyes off of Him. He reminds me that He must be first and foremost in my heart and in my thoughts. Jesus is my most intimate and trusted friend. I praise His name, not because of what He has done in me, nor for what He has given me. I praise Him because of who He is: King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Son of man and Son of God, Mighty Warrior, Prince of Peace, Savior of the world.

I have not come to this level of faith over night, nor has it been easy for me to learn. There have been times when I would say, “Lord, I’ve had enough, I don’t want any more.” But He would always say, “Take my hand, I will show you.” It took me a long time to learn that when I would seek Him first above all other things, He would move in all my circumstances to put me in the center of his will. Psalm 37 tells us a great truth: “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Him, trust in him, and He will act.” Jesus must be first in my life only then can my will be His will, His life my life, His inheritance my inheritance. He is preparing a people to be with Him in His kingdom, to be holy as He is holy. I am reminded of this fact each time He changes something about me that is displeasing to Him. Each time He teaches me some new truth, I am a little closer to being what He wants me to be. Humility is a very hard thing to learn. I thank God that he loves me enough to teach me.

My parents were not church goers. Believers, but not committed believers. I was not raised in the church, so as a child growing up I had very little knowledge about Christianity. The only mention of Jesus that I can remember was when my mother would gather the family around the piano on Christmas eve to sing carols. What I learned about Jesus was through the public schools that I attended. I remember a fourth grade teacher that read Scripture every morning to start the day. I learned about the birth of Christ through the school Christmas programs performed by the students dressed in the Biblical tradition. Easter was a time to decorate eggs and watch for the Easter bunny. Thanksgiving was a time to prepare a big dinner and think about the hardships that the pilgrims endured. We lived on a farm about four miles from the nearest town when I was sixteen, a junior in High School. My math teacher was also a minister in the local church in that town. He talked to my mother about having me baptized. My mother and I attended two church services. Once when I was baptized and again when I became a member of the church. For reasons known only to my mother, we did not return. I do remember however, hearing her say that the minister did not preach the Gospel, he was a philosopher.

It wasn’t until I was married and the mother of three children that I started to attend Sunday school. Some of our neighbors went to church and I wanted my children to be raised that way too. It was more convenient for me to take them to the church instead of dropping them off and returning later to pick them up. My motivation was social, not spiritual. My parents were in an auto accident that seriously injured my mother and killed my dad. It was the pain of this experience that caused me to begin to search for the meaning of life. It just didn’t make sense to live for a while and then die. I began to read the Bible because I had heard that hope could be found there. I read, even though I didn’t understand what it meant. God, in His mercy, met me in my need. He reached out to me and opened my heart to receive His grace.

The Dream

Dear Reader,

Welcome to my blog. It is my prayer that you will be encouraged to pursue a life of living for Jesus. This can happen by opening yourself to His truth. Several years ago I had a dream that I believe came from the Lord. This dream encouraged me to know that He was with me and later empowered me to stand through the trials of my life.

In this dream I was standing in a room that was covered with a warm golden brown paneling. In one corner of the room was a closet. A light was shining out from under its door. I moved away from the closet because I felt frightened. I moved into an adjacent room which was covered with the same golden brown paneling. In this room were two stairways, one leading up, the other leading down. I looked at them both for a moment trying to decide which one to take. I decided to take the one leading down. When I got to the bottom I was in a dark and gloomy place. There were no walls. I saw a bench nearby and sat down on it. People began milling around me. They were very depressed and dejected looking people. I watched them for awhile, then decided I didn’t belong there. With that realization, I saw a patch of blue in the distance. I started to walk toward it. As I walked, fences and obstacles appeared before me that I had to cross over. But with each obstacle that I crossed, the light got brighter. Finally, I was in bright sunlight, the fences were gone and I could see a rainbow ahead of me. I began to run toward the rainbow. As I ran I could feel a great exhilaration welling up within me. I didn’t reach the rainbow in the dream. I awoke while I was still running toward it.

I’ve never forgotten this dream. It made me aware that life is full of choices, and obstacles can hinder God’s perfect will for each of us. Keeping our eyes on His promises strengthens us to endure on the journey of life.

In this day of “progressive Christianity” I sense the need to fulfill the initial mission of my calling, to be a witness to the truth of the Lord Jesus Christ. He desires to bring everyone into a relationship with Him that will enable us to live fruitful and meaningful lives.

This is my first post. In future posts I will share how my faith began and how the Lord helped me to cross over all those fences I encountered in the dream. I will give an account of how He took me out of an ordinary everyday existence into a life aware of His presence… a life aware of His power, His love, and His guidance. It is my intention to post a segment of my journey at least once a week in the weeks ahead.